anthonytkendrick.blogspot.com - my friends, my travels, my life, my careers, my thoughts

https://www.psychcentral.com/blog/childhood-neglect/2020/05/6-healing-habits-of-adults-who-recover-from-childhood-emotional-neglect#4

A Duke University study by Hanson, et al. (2015) found that emotionally neglected kids go into adolescence with an important structure in their brains under-developed. Its the ventral striatum, which is the area of the brain that registers feelings of reward. If your ventral striatum is a bit undeveloped, never fear. You can develop it now! This habit is actually rather fun to work on too. To cultivate this habit pay close attention to what you like, love, and enjoy. Then actively ask for it, plan it, and structure it into your life. Your brain can change and you can make it happen.

Saying no (an expression of boundaries)

Saying, No is difficult for emotionally neglected folks. For you, it feels wrong, it feels selfish, and you assume you must justify yourself. But none of that is actually true. Saying no is your right under any circumstances, and the more you do it, the easier it will become. As you say, No, I cant help you with that. No, Im not available. No, I dont want that, it starts to help you set your boundaries with people and it gives you the space to focus more on yourself, which is exactly where your focus must be to heal.

Of Goulburn, Paul Kelly, Megalong Valley (alot), the Po po
2012. A year in review.

On top of feathertop - the boys

Did New Years in Melbourne at the Race track and started the year with a walk to the second highest peak in Victoria, Mt Feathertop, with Chris, Fr D, Liv, B1 and B2, Brendan, Takita, Mel and Pablo. Such a great walk, such a great thing to do. Thanks to tall who organised it so well, especially Chris. Highlights included being introduced to Paul Kelly's How to Make Gravy by Fr Dom via it's lyrics, The Diamantina Horse Camp with the medieval altar included, the steep ascent up the Razorback ridge, the chapel/church that was converted into accommodation that we converted back to a church for a time. I swore to never sleep in my tiny coffin tent again after a night of almost zero sleep. The tent became wet and I had to sleep in the cabin for a while around Feathertop.

I even pretended to like kids to woo her

Before that thought, I met a girl who I thought I could marry at a wedding in December 2011. The wedding was for one of my best friends, Gordo and Paula. We danced like I've never danced before. I was MC, she was flower girl. She caught my heart, but for some reason, it was just to be that trip that I saw her. I live in sad hope. But I trust. And before that I caught up with my Bro from England in early December. We had beers at a pub somewhere near Paddington with Scotty.

The first half of the year saw me in Goulburn for session two. It was nice being the big kids on campus again. I really enjoyed my time in Goulburn, the fitness track was a favourite place of mine, I loved the comraderie of the accomodation, getting to stay close to friends.

We made a great trip down to Canberra. (Actually that was in Nov 11 oops)

Bungonia green water gorge. Yes, we swam.

On that trip we visited Canberra's tourist sites, Parliament House and their nightclubs. I had a near miraculous walk to mass on Sunday morning, and survived sleeping on the couch with my sleeping apparatus with four other guys. I enjoyed going to the gym and getting fit, on the treadmill lots and round the track with the occasional magpie swooping. Trying my hand at flirting and beginning to fall, but for the wrong girl. I enjoyed Goulburn, meeting up with family friends and seeing their home made chapel! I enjoyed exploring the Brewery and being the only four guests one night, besides the large band! Ha. Milic and Chris came down and we had a lovely camp near Bungonia Gorge which has a quarry in February. The tip to visit this place came from my session on host and Goulburn local Chester Garbutt! Our trip down Bungonia Gorge.

- Getting lost on camping trip with Susie and Mary on Dunphys Ironmunger, on the proposed Wild Dog Mountains Trip, near the Megalong Valley. See, I still don't know

Dunphys, Chris and I reunited after our separation

May - Graduation!!!! Changed jobs. Wow and starting work at City. Such a crazy time.
Oh yeah, winter camping. Maybe in July.

- Camping numerous times at Carlon Head, or as I like to call it Dunphys Camp Site. Was it this year or last year we discovered our secret Old Ford Reserve winter camping spot.

Milic at Dunphys May 2011

I tried to make the Shakespeare hotel my local pub - despite not living near it. And I'm happy with it to be my winter pub.

Still didn't make it to the shack
Joined the Catholic Bushwalking club but yet to walk. Saw about 1 play only this year!!!! Ahh.
Missed the Frassati Bush ball this year
Visited Chris in Leura many times this year.
Didn't get to Lewisham too much this year as a matter of fact, didn't get to church too much besides the obligatory.
Missed the Ballarat to Bendigo... maybe I'm getting too old for it anyways.
May friends got married.
I am really looking forward to the last book in the Wheel of Time Series, a Memory of Light!
Saw a great production of Fiddler on the roof
Didn't quite find love.
Poems written - 1 or 2 and some small ditties for peoples birthdays!
I stayed at home and managed to save some money to pay off some debts.
Tried to take a few more calculated risks this year and every time it payed off!