A Duke University study by Hanson, et al. (2015) found that emotionally neglected kids go into adolescence with an important structure in their brains under-developed. Its the ventral striatum, which is the area of the brain that registers feelings of reward. If your ventral striatum is a bit undeveloped, never fear. You can develop it now! This habit is actually rather fun to work on too. To cultivate this habit pay close attention to what you like, love, and enjoy. Then actively ask for it, plan it, and structure it into your life. Your brain can change and you can make it happen.
Saying no (an expression of boundaries)
Saying, No is difficult for emotionally neglected folks. For you, it feels wrong, it feels selfish, and you assume you must justify yourself. But none of that is actually true. Saying no is your right under any circumstances, and the more you do it, the easier it will become. As you say, No, I cant help you with that. No, Im not available. No, I dont want that, it starts to help you set your boundaries with people and it gives you the space to focus more on yourself, which is exactly where your focus must be to heal.
