Old-Fashioned Mass

Old-Fashioned Mass [with apologies to Eartha Kitts' 'Old Fashioned Millionaire]

I want an old fashioned Mass, Latin is for me
Even though I do not understand it perfectly
I want an old fashioned Mass
With an old fashioned priest
In an old fashioned fiddle-back.

I'd stay kneeling on my knees
To the click of rosaries
While the priest is muttering in latin.
And my eyes I would regale
With a splendid humeral veil
And sub-deacon holding up the paten.

I want the priest to ablute
With water and with wine
Triple 'non sum dignus' and the use of thee and thine
I want an old fashioned Mass
With an old fashioned priest
With an old fashioned maniple.

For the modern rite is lax
And promiscuous at the 'pax'
O-of li-tur-gy it's not a notion
For the newer rite is here
And it certainly is drear
And is not inspiring of devotion.

I want the prayers before Mass
And the Last Gospel, too
Kisses and birettas, genuflections not a few
I want an old fashioned Mass
With an old fashioned priest
With an old fashioned sanctus bell.